It's a quarter to six in the morning. I had another one of those dreams about Schmoe that wakes me up. I can never fall back asleep after one of those. It doesn't help that I have screwed things up with my best friend either.(Although with that situation, I can't help feeling that I may be being used as a diversion to accomplish an alternative motive. Not that I don't deserve to be thrown under the bus, I do. But it feels like it's being done to save face.) These dreams always are the same. I mean they vary from scenario, to scenario, but the point is always the same. I still miss her. It's been 5 1/2 months since the realization that "she is really gone", was forced down my throat, and nearly 9 months since I've seen her. Yet this feeling that "this isn't really over", still lingers in my subconscious. For some reason, I just can't believe that this is real.
I've gotta stop this. I'm never gonna take over the world like this. And I am, still, gonna take over the world! Just as soon as I stop self destructing. I am gonna get my shit together, pull my head outta my ass, and take over the world! It may take a bit longer then originally expected, now that my other half has decided to become a selfish, evil little wh@$%, but it will happen! And once I do take over the world, I am banishing all selfish, evil little wh@$#'s to their own island, where they can all f@#k themselves to death. And I am shipping every mosquito in Minnesota to this island. And I am taking anything that can be used as meat off the island (except fish of course, because lets be honest, just because I am gonna rule the world, still doesn't give me power over the ocean) Oh! And all the fire ants in California too. They're going over there too. And it's gonna be someplace hot, with no trees, only puny little bushes that offer very little in shade. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh! And crocodiles too, that shoot acid from their mouths! Yeah,.. that's what I am gonna do.
Of course I might end up regretting this, because if I keep going the route I have been going in, I may be forced to place myself on this here island. And that would be completely unacceptable. I may have to rethink this, let me get back to you. I'm still taking over though... Just you wait! I've still gotta work out a few details, that's all.
~SB~
To clear any confusion... This is a self mockery of a situation I recently found myself in. At the same time it points out a possible second party agenda. If you know not of the situation this statement pertains to, don't bother asking, I will not speak of it. Another has discussed the situation with a multitude of people, which in turn promotes my feelings for said point "B". However, this does not alleviate my hypocrisy, which is the original point "A". Not that it isn't possible for point "B" to carry a note of it's own hypocrisy. Certainly that possibly exists. I think that if one were to step back, and evaluate the picture as a whole, and all the players involved, then the terrible action of point "A", may become diluted by the not no forthrightness of point "B" I hope this clarifies any confusion.
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