So I am creating this blog for the sole purpose of bitching. I hope that one day it will evolve into one of those "oh so great happy" daily updates of my life, and how great things are going. To one day feel normal. Ahh, now that would be a dream! However, even now, while I pound at these keys with such fury, that I can't make three words without going back to correct a spelling mistake;.. well let's just get started.
So I am your every day average pseudo punk rock reject. I was just recently released from prison. I got into a drunk driving accident. Thank god everyone is ok... (to be honest, I still don't think I even hit that person, but that is irrelevant.) My wife, the most wonderful person I had ever known (or so I thought) left me two moths to the gate. She had made it 13 out of 15 months, then one day, out of no where, I got the "Dear John" letter stating that she was leaving me for a friend of ours. That was about 60 days before my release. It's been three months now since "Freedom Day".
While I don't feel like getting into all the drama of my recent "Break Up', I suppose it is necessary to give a brief description of my history. If for no other reason but to give a little character reference.
Schmoe, my wife, was my best friend. We have screwed, dated, friended, loved, and married each other for the last 5 years. The relationship was everywhere, but for the last three years, it was the most solid, DOWN!, happiest relationship I had ever been in . When my truck malfunctioned, and I went to jail, she was right by my side for .. (almost) .. the entire thing. We were tight. We were indestructible, .. as long as we were together. I fought for her, protected her, truly loved her, built for her, and bla bla bla .. same shit we've all heard a hundred thousand times. But me and her.. We were gold! It was me for her, and her for me, till the god damn wheels fell off .. well that was the plan anyways. Whatever. That's the gist of it .. It is what it is .. moving on.
So I am living in Portland Oregon at the moment. I'll be here till my parole it up, then I'm getting the fuck outta here! This place has taken more than it's pound of flesh. I moved here, with Schmoe, from Minneapolis Minnesota. Before that, I had lived in all sorts of amazing places.. Alaska, Mexico, Idaho, Texas, California, Nevada, Hong Kong, Washington, New Mexico, Arizona, Taiwan ..... the list will continue to go on .. I hope.
Lets see what else can I say about myself quickly that will allow you an intimate knowledge of who I am without taking up a shit ton of time... Oh, My father is a minister. So is my brother for that matter. In fact, I was a missionary in about half a dozen countries, and states myself. However, seems, that my family and I have taken very deferent paths is our search for God. Maybe it was just me that changed. Maybe I grew and learned something... Maybe I just got lost.. I guess one day we'll see. Still, I have a strong sense of faith,and spirituality. An urge to see what is out there. An unquenchable thirst to find something more.
Finally, the thing about myself I hate to talk about the most. I not only come from an extremely abusive past, but I come from a very large family. All of which have experienced, in one form or another, the same tragic experiences I have. It's a separated family on several levels, so there is multiple fathers, and mothers involved. This could be the reason I am the giant "Fuck Up" I am. Or it could be all my fault. Who really knows? Honestly, if I ever wanna change it, I'll have to except responsibility for it. All of it. If for no other reason, but to move on.
Wow! I had a shit ton to say when I started this, but now I just wanna chill for a moment. Gonna go have a drink, a smoke, think a bit, and be back to actually write something I wanna talk about. Guess the introduction took the wind outta of my sails ..hope it doesn't do the same for you .. Cheers! Till the next time.
Check back soon. There's a good chance that I may even have something new to bitch about before you were even done reading this one. :D
~SB~
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